He shall remain unnamed -

oh...before I forget - this story is a bit funny...and a bit gross....so for the faint of heart I will continue below the fold...

Part 1 - heh...so there we were, sequestered in a hot conference room - waiting for the piss test to begin. There was some typical slow down in the process and as we were sequestered, we were stuck. This young Specialist (whom I do believe is in fact an idiot-savant) has to go RIGHT NOW...his poor little bladder was full and he could not wait. You have to picture this kid. About 6 ft of corn fed square head straight out of some Germanic tribal colony in the great northern midwest. Amazingly technically knowledgeable about firearms, but unable to run to a cadence in formation. He is that Soldier that you *know* could be a stellar killer of Hajji - if only he could pull his head out of his ass. So we shuttled him to the front of the line when the sample collection actually began...and he left with his observer...only to return with a remarkably dry bottle...he couldn't go, as he had to poo as well. So he pranced and danced and complained for another 30 minutes, finally stating that he could go now for real. We advised him to just sit down and do both at once..no big deal. He moves out sharply with his observer again and returns in about 10 minutes. His observer is DISGUSTED. Apparently the young lad "hovered" and made a mess from both ends...all over the stall.  - Later - just before final formation - I asked him if he had cleaned up the latrine - he began to sputter and tapdance...I sent him up to clean it up...much to his chagrin...>>

Today - we went to the gym for PT and swam laps - most of the Soldiers were doing well, one or two didn't swim well but got along - this Teutonic Yeti is in a lane all by his lonesome ....errr....swimming....IF that is what you can call it. This guy is not in a zen like flow moving as if the water and he were natural partners. Nor was he in fear of the water doggy paddling his way back and forth. This kid was attacking the water as if it were a mortal enemy bent on sending him into a spiraling plunge to visit Davy Jones locker in all of three feet of water. His battle was epic - like a berserker of Nordic legend he battered his way to and fro - raising great plumes of whitewater, emptying the pool by a gallon with every crushing blow. I am not kidding - had the water been the best that Tyson, Ali, Leonard and Jones had to offer, this kid would have bested them all. It was a terrifying spectacle of beating the water into submission. Hell - I got tired just watching him "swim"....>>

More to follow...of that I am sure.>>

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Posted by: Misha Moriarti at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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